Thoughts on Weddings
Picture this. It’s 2018, I’ve just quit my job, and charged £800 to my first client. While I’ve planned weddings before, I’m desperate to get my foot in the door of an industry that looks like so much fun on my own terms. I scrolled through instagram swooning over the work of more established planners, trying to connect with suppliers, showing what I could do by making tablescapes in my kitchen. I was so desperate to stand out and fit in.
The world of weddings back then seemed like an endless pot of possibilities, though most of those possibilities came with a side of pampas grass (I’ll never forget the smell). I’ve always thought of this industry as incredibly fun, and with fun being one of my biggest motivators in life, everything else just simply isn’t that deep.
Fast forward to October 2026, and every time I open Instagram I roll my eyes. I must outline at this point that everything I am about to say is not meant with even an ounce of shade. I’m a firm believer that there’s a space for everyone, we each offer something unique and different. I do not feel challenged by competition.
But I do think wedding planners in particular are playing a questionable game. Each time I open instagram there’s another wildly elaborate design post in front of me. With centrepieces so big there’s no chance of a conversation with the person opposite you, or carpet so white it’ll be trashed as soon as the photographer walks in. I wonder how much of a game of one-upmanship we’re playing against each other; trying to do the biggest, the best, the most expensive, the most creative. But the reality is we can’t see how many times you cried from a carousel post. And no one owes us that. We’re not owed a sense of if the client was a nightmare, if the venue was impossible or if the nights leading up to it were sleepless. We just get the shiny end.
I was drawn to this for the great bands, the great parties, the sentimental details and the experience I was and am still able to give people. But recently, the emphasis has shifted more widely onto what looks the best on a feed. We’re not in control of that algorithm, and everyone is ultimately trying to make a living, so you have to post what sells, right? But it’s so unapproachable, and so unrelatable.
And honestly, nothing I’m saying here is new. You’ve seen this sentiment before, and I’m probably the first one to screenshot it and send in our group chat saying “it’s not that deep”, because it isn’t. I don’t have the solution, I don’t have clear thoughts on how we get out of it.
The stakes are high. My business alone has contributed 3.6 million to the wedding industry. That’s so many jobs, livelihoods and passions we’re helping to support. Imagine how much that number increases if you include the rest of the planners in the UK.
So what’s my point… the TDLR of it all. It’s unbelievably easy to get caught up in whatever post your algorithm throws at you. Whether that’s as a photographer wondering why you’re not working on multi million £ weddings, or as a planner questioning if you should do something more outlandish and creative. Comparison is truly the thief of joy, and there’s no heart in perfection. This industry to me is full of incredibly talented people, who are capable of working together on grounds of mutual respect to deliver a truly unique celebration. Is it time to strip back?
